Course Content
Parents course to address children being Bullied
Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective Introduction Bullying is a major concern for parents and students, often leaving parents unsure of how to best support their children. Every child is unique, and traditional bullying resources can feel repetitive without offering new, practical strategies. Maggie’s Legacy provides a fresh perspective, helping parents not only understand bullying but also navigate it effectively using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. This universal tool offers insights that apply to a wide range of situations beyond bullying. What is Bullying? According to the Australian National Definition of Bullying, bullying is: ✅ Ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships. ✅ Repeated verbal, physical, or social behavior causing harm. ✅ Can be in person or online, overt or covert. ✅ Involves an imbalance of power, making the victim feel unable to stop it. ❌ Not all conflict is bullying – single incidents, arguments, or fights between equals are not classified as bullying. Why is Maggie’s Legacy an Ideal Tool for Addressing Bullying? Maggie’s Legacy goes beyond traditional approaches by focusing on: ✔️ Patterns of power and control, rather than labeling individuals. ✔️ The mechanics of language and behavior that sustain bullying. ✔️ Equipping parents, students, and schools with strategies to identify and disrupt bullying dynamics. By providing a consistent framework, Maggie’s Legacy ensures that parents, teachers, and schools take a unified approach in addressing bullying, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment. Course Objectives & Outcomes Maggie’s Legacy enhances parents’ existing knowledge while introducing a groundbreaking framework to: 🔹 Recognize patterns of bullying behavior. 🔹 Empower children with strategies to navigate bullying. 🔹 Create a safe, supportive environment for their child. Parents will explore four core components of the Tentacles of Obligation framework: 1. Relational vs. Transactional Language Parents will learn to distinguish between two types of interactions: ✅ Relational Language – Based on respect, empathy, and collaboration. ❌ Transactional Language – Driven by control, entitlement, and self-interest. By understanding these dynamics, parents can recognize when bullying behaviors stem from a transactional mindset and help their child navigate these situations using relational approaches. 2. Predicting & Identifying Patterns Parents will discover how to spot hidden bullying patterns and determine whether their child is: 👦 A victim – Feeling powerless and trapped. 👀 A bystander – Struggling with whether to intervene. 👧 Exhibiting bullying behaviors – Acting from a place of control or insecurity. Recognizing early warning signs allows parents to intervene before conflicts escalate. 3. The Psychological Cage This concept represents the mental and emotional struggle a child faces when caught between relational and transactional languages. 🔹 Creates internal conflict between obligations and expectations. 🔹 Restricts a child’s confidence and autonomy. 🔹 Reinforces feelings of powerlessness and self-doubt. In the context of bullying, this cage can trap victims in harmful cycles where they feel unable to speak up or defend themselves. 4. The Bunker: Creating a Safe Space When a child feels trapped in a psychological cage, they need a bunker—a safe space that: 🏠 Provides protection and support without escalating conflict. 🤝 Encourages relational solutions to bullying situations. 🔍 Helps children recognize relational vs. transactional dynamics and respond strategically. Parents will be encouraged to brainstorm "bunker concepts" tailored to their child's situation using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. The Unique Value of Maggie’s Legacy 🔹 Provides a practical, structured approach rather than generic advice. 🔹 Encourages collaboration between parents, schools, and students. 🔹 Transforms bullying incidents into opportunities for growth and connection. 🔹 Uses real-life case studies to inspire solutions. Maggie’s Legacy is not a replacement for professional intervention but serves as a valuable support tool to help parents recognize and address bullying dynamics effectively. Next Steps Join us in the next section, where we will reveal the full Tentacles of Obligation framework—once you see it, you can’t unsee it! 🚀
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Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective
04:45
Understanding Bullying Through the Lens of the Tentacles of Obligation Framework
06:09
Delving into Relational and Transactional Languages
04:57
The Relational and Transactional Languages of Purpose vs. Prove
04:10
The Battle of the Tentacles of Obligation & The Psychological Cage
08:04
The Bunker: Escaping the Psychological Cage of Bullying
06:56
The Bunker When a Friend Plays for Themselves
07:12
Exploring Ava Written Rules for AVA
06:17
Maggie’s Legacy Glossary of Terms
Preserver app to gain a free and extremely useful tool to document your experiences.
01:30
Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions
Parents dealing with Bullying
About Lesson

The Bunker: A Practical Approach to Bullying

When a Friend Plays for Themselves in Team Sports

Success in team sports comes from working together and following fair play rules, like Ava. But what happens when someone who is supposed to be your teammate isn’t really playing for the team? What if that teammate is only looking out for themselves—using you to win their own game, like Mia?

This scenario reflects bullying within friendships. Someone who appears to be a friend (relational) may actually be acting out of self-interest (transactional). They might seem supportive on the surface but take advantage of you for personal gain—boosting their social status, gaining attention, or maintaining control.

The Bullying Game: Relational vs. Transactional Language

Whose Side Are You On?

Ava believes Mia is on her team, assuming their friendship is built on mutual respect, trust, and shared goals—a relational perspective. She confides in Mia, supports her, and expects the same in return.

However, Mia operates differently. She interacts with Ava not for friendship but for control, power, or dominance—a transactional approach. Mia may:

  • Use Ava’s secrets against her.
  • Exclude Ava from the group to elevate her own status.
  • Act friendly when it benefits her but turn against Ava when it no longer does.

Ava is left confused:
“Why would someone on my team behave this way?”

This creates emotional conflict because Ava expects fairness and loyalty, yet she feels betrayed and manipulated. The unwritten rules of friendship are being questioned.

The Battle on the Field: When the Unexpected Strikes

Blindsided by Your Own Teammate

In sports, players focus on the opposing team, not their own teammates. Imagine a game where:

  • A teammate trips you on purpose.
  • They refuse to pass the ball when you’re open.

Since you trust them, you excuse their behavior:

  • “Maybe they didn’t see me.”
  • “It must have been an accident.”

However, if this pattern continues, Ava begins to suspect Mia’s actions are intentional. This self-doubt traps Ava in an emotional cycle where she questions herself instead of recognizing Mia’s manipulation.

When Mia eventually accuses Ava of ruining their friendship, Ava wonders:
“Is it really my fault?”

This deepens Ava’s psychological cage, making her feel trapped and uncertain about how to respond.

Breaking Free: Using The Bunker Concept

Maggie’s Legacy suggests Ava needs to play safe by establishing her own bunker—a mental space that helps her step back, see things clearly, and escape the cycle of manipulation.

Step 1: Identifying the Bunker (Safe Space & Rules)

Ava realizes that true friendships operate on relational language—built on mutual respect, appreciation, and support. A real friend does not manipulate or diminish others for control.

Step 2: Recognizing the Opponent’s Strategy (Bullying Tactics)

Mia plays by transactional rules. She:

  • Undermines Ava subtly to gain power.
  • Creates self-doubt in Ava’s mind.
  • Positions herself as the leader, forcing Ava to prove her worth.

Step 3: Choosing the Right Response (Staying in the Bunker)

Instead of proving her worth or trying to change Mia, Ava realizes she doesn’t have to engage in the game at all.

Step 4: Seeking Support from True Allies

Ava strengthens relationships with friends who follow relational rules—those who genuinely care and support her.

Step 5: Setting Personal Standards (Bunker Rules)

Ava decides how to respond. She may:

  • Call out Mia’s behavior directly.
  • Create distance.
  • Step back without confrontation.

The choice is hers. Ava understands Mia best and can determine the most effective way forward.

Step 6: Shifting Focus to Healthy Friendships

Instead of trying to “win” against Mia, Ava shifts her mindset to building friendships aligned with her values.

Outcome: Ava Gains Clarity

By staying in her bunker, Ava no longer allows herself to be manipulated by self-doubt or a toxic dynamic. Instead, she focuses on friendships based on mutual respect and support.

This example demonstrates how The Bunker helps navigate bullying by reinforcing relational values and recognizing when someone is trying to pull you into a transactional power game.

Are There Any Written Rules in Ava’s Situation?

At first, it may seem like there aren’t. However, Maggie’s Legacy suggests that bunkers can have both written and unwritten rules. Even Mia has boundaries—lines she won’t cross.

Can you think of a situation where Mia might change her behavior toward Ava?

Next Steps

In the next module, we will discuss:

  • Different types of bullying.
  • Additional bunker strategies for protecting your child.
Exercise Files
Maggie’s Legacy DV Tentacles of Obligation.pdf
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