Course Content
Parents course to address children being Bullied
Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective Introduction Bullying is a major concern for parents and students, often leaving parents unsure of how to best support their children. Every child is unique, and traditional bullying resources can feel repetitive without offering new, practical strategies. Maggie’s Legacy provides a fresh perspective, helping parents not only understand bullying but also navigate it effectively using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. This universal tool offers insights that apply to a wide range of situations beyond bullying. What is Bullying? According to the Australian National Definition of Bullying, bullying is: ✅ Ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships. ✅ Repeated verbal, physical, or social behavior causing harm. ✅ Can be in person or online, overt or covert. ✅ Involves an imbalance of power, making the victim feel unable to stop it. ❌ Not all conflict is bullying – single incidents, arguments, or fights between equals are not classified as bullying. Why is Maggie’s Legacy an Ideal Tool for Addressing Bullying? Maggie’s Legacy goes beyond traditional approaches by focusing on: ✔️ Patterns of power and control, rather than labeling individuals. ✔️ The mechanics of language and behavior that sustain bullying. ✔️ Equipping parents, students, and schools with strategies to identify and disrupt bullying dynamics. By providing a consistent framework, Maggie’s Legacy ensures that parents, teachers, and schools take a unified approach in addressing bullying, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment. Course Objectives & Outcomes Maggie’s Legacy enhances parents’ existing knowledge while introducing a groundbreaking framework to: 🔹 Recognize patterns of bullying behavior. 🔹 Empower children with strategies to navigate bullying. 🔹 Create a safe, supportive environment for their child. Parents will explore four core components of the Tentacles of Obligation framework: 1. Relational vs. Transactional Language Parents will learn to distinguish between two types of interactions: ✅ Relational Language – Based on respect, empathy, and collaboration. ❌ Transactional Language – Driven by control, entitlement, and self-interest. By understanding these dynamics, parents can recognize when bullying behaviors stem from a transactional mindset and help their child navigate these situations using relational approaches. 2. Predicting & Identifying Patterns Parents will discover how to spot hidden bullying patterns and determine whether their child is: 👦 A victim – Feeling powerless and trapped. 👀 A bystander – Struggling with whether to intervene. 👧 Exhibiting bullying behaviors – Acting from a place of control or insecurity. Recognizing early warning signs allows parents to intervene before conflicts escalate. 3. The Psychological Cage This concept represents the mental and emotional struggle a child faces when caught between relational and transactional languages. 🔹 Creates internal conflict between obligations and expectations. 🔹 Restricts a child’s confidence and autonomy. 🔹 Reinforces feelings of powerlessness and self-doubt. In the context of bullying, this cage can trap victims in harmful cycles where they feel unable to speak up or defend themselves. 4. The Bunker: Creating a Safe Space When a child feels trapped in a psychological cage, they need a bunker—a safe space that: 🏠 Provides protection and support without escalating conflict. 🤝 Encourages relational solutions to bullying situations. 🔍 Helps children recognize relational vs. transactional dynamics and respond strategically. Parents will be encouraged to brainstorm "bunker concepts" tailored to their child's situation using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. The Unique Value of Maggie’s Legacy 🔹 Provides a practical, structured approach rather than generic advice. 🔹 Encourages collaboration between parents, schools, and students. 🔹 Transforms bullying incidents into opportunities for growth and connection. 🔹 Uses real-life case studies to inspire solutions. Maggie’s Legacy is not a replacement for professional intervention but serves as a valuable support tool to help parents recognize and address bullying dynamics effectively. Next Steps Join us in the next section, where we will reveal the full Tentacles of Obligation framework—once you see it, you can’t unsee it! 🚀
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Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective
04:45
Understanding Bullying Through the Lens of the Tentacles of Obligation Framework
06:09
Delving into Relational and Transactional Languages
04:57
The Relational and Transactional Languages of Purpose vs. Prove
04:10
The Battle of the Tentacles of Obligation & The Psychological Cage
08:04
The Bunker: Escaping the Psychological Cage of Bullying
06:56
The Bunker When a Friend Plays for Themselves
07:12
Exploring Ava Written Rules for AVA
06:17
Maggie’s Legacy Glossary of Terms
Preserver app to gain a free and extremely useful tool to document your experiences.
01:30
Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions
Parents dealing with Bullying
About Lesson

Delving into Relational and Transactional Languages

Recap from Our Last Module

Let’s revisit the concept of the Tentacles of Obligation, defining and clarifying the Spidey Sense, and unpacking the Relational and Transactional Languages.

Understanding the Spidey Sense

We all have a natural, built-in Spidey Sense—that gut feeling that tells us when something isn’t right. It’s the subtle tension you feel before a conflict starts or the discomfort that lingers when someone’s words don’t match their intent. This instinct is often present, but without a clear framework, it can be difficult to interpret or act on.

Maggie’s Legacy takes the guesswork out of this intuitive sense and transforms it into a practical tool through the Tentacles of Obligation Framework.

The Tentacles of Obligation

The Tentacles of Obligation explain the invisible forces at play in our relationships, which can either support us or trap us, depending on how we interact with them. These intuitive forces come in two forms:

  1. Relational Language (Want-To Obligation) – When you genuinely want to do something.

  2. Transactional Language (Have-To Obligation) – When you feel pressured to do something out of obligation.

The Relational and Transactional Languages have nine unwritten rules or attributes that an individual intuitively brings to any interaction.

Case Study: Ava and Mia

A high school student, Ava, is being bullied by her peer, Mia, in subtle yet impactful ways. The bullying includes:

  • Exclusion from social groups

  • Spreading rumors

  • Manipulating others to isolate Ava

Ava feels conflicted because she believed she and Mia had a close friendship. When Ava tries to stand up for herself or confront Mia, Mia deflects by making Ava feel guilty for ruining their friendship or overreacting.

Ava struggles to decide whether to report Mia, fearing further isolation or judgment, or to maintain the friendship out of loyalty and guilt.

Guiding Ava Through Relational and Transactional Languages

To provide Ava guidance, let’s view her friendship with Mia through the lens of Relational and Transactional Languages.

Relational Language (Want-To Attributes)

A relational want-to mindset emerges from a shared, collaborative approach where actions are guided by mutual consideration and a sincere willingness to contribute to the group. An individual practicing relational language will naturally exhibit:

✅ Respectful
✅ Understanding and empathetic
✅ Appreciative
✅ Team or bigger-picture focused (benefiting “we”)
✅ Collaborative and future-focused

Transactional Language (Have-To Attributes)

A transactional have-to mindset stems from a self-centered, “me-first” approach, where actions are driven by pressure, control, and a desire for personal gain. An individual operating within the transactional language will typically exhibit:

❌ Selfish
❌ Judgmental and fault-finding
❌ Entitled
❌ Expecting or demanding compliance
❌ Focused on personal gain over the group

Examining Ava and Mia’s Interaction

Let’s analyze Ava’s situation through the Relational and Transactional Language Framework:

Ava (Relational Language) Mia (Transactional Language)
Shows respect, understanding, and empathy toward Mia. Displays selfishness, judgment, and fault-finding toward Ava.
Values their friendship and thinks about their future together. Uses entitlement to impose expectations on Ava.
Views Mia as an important member of her inner circle. Aims to get her own way in the moment.

This simple exercise reveals a clear pattern of behavior, where Ava operates in Relational Language while Mia uses Transactional Language to maintain control.

Key Takeaways for Parents

Maggie’s Legacy invites parents to reflect on their child’s situation and apply the Tentacles of Obligation to better understand bullying dynamics. This framework helps parents:

  1. Identify and predict patterns of language and behavior.

  2. Guide and prepare their child to navigate conflicts between these two languages.

  3. Reflect on their child’s experiences using a structured perspective.

Exercise Files
Maggie’s Legacy DV Tentacles of Obligation.pdf
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