Course Content
Parents course to address children being Bullied
Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective Introduction Bullying is a major concern for parents and students, often leaving parents unsure of how to best support their children. Every child is unique, and traditional bullying resources can feel repetitive without offering new, practical strategies. Maggie’s Legacy provides a fresh perspective, helping parents not only understand bullying but also navigate it effectively using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. This universal tool offers insights that apply to a wide range of situations beyond bullying. What is Bullying? According to the Australian National Definition of Bullying, bullying is: ✅ Ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships. ✅ Repeated verbal, physical, or social behavior causing harm. ✅ Can be in person or online, overt or covert. ✅ Involves an imbalance of power, making the victim feel unable to stop it. ❌ Not all conflict is bullying – single incidents, arguments, or fights between equals are not classified as bullying. Why is Maggie’s Legacy an Ideal Tool for Addressing Bullying? Maggie’s Legacy goes beyond traditional approaches by focusing on: ✔️ Patterns of power and control, rather than labeling individuals. ✔️ The mechanics of language and behavior that sustain bullying. ✔️ Equipping parents, students, and schools with strategies to identify and disrupt bullying dynamics. By providing a consistent framework, Maggie’s Legacy ensures that parents, teachers, and schools take a unified approach in addressing bullying, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment. Course Objectives & Outcomes Maggie’s Legacy enhances parents’ existing knowledge while introducing a groundbreaking framework to: 🔹 Recognize patterns of bullying behavior. 🔹 Empower children with strategies to navigate bullying. 🔹 Create a safe, supportive environment for their child. Parents will explore four core components of the Tentacles of Obligation framework: 1. Relational vs. Transactional Language Parents will learn to distinguish between two types of interactions: ✅ Relational Language – Based on respect, empathy, and collaboration. ❌ Transactional Language – Driven by control, entitlement, and self-interest. By understanding these dynamics, parents can recognize when bullying behaviors stem from a transactional mindset and help their child navigate these situations using relational approaches. 2. Predicting & Identifying Patterns Parents will discover how to spot hidden bullying patterns and determine whether their child is: 👦 A victim – Feeling powerless and trapped. 👀 A bystander – Struggling with whether to intervene. 👧 Exhibiting bullying behaviors – Acting from a place of control or insecurity. Recognizing early warning signs allows parents to intervene before conflicts escalate. 3. The Psychological Cage This concept represents the mental and emotional struggle a child faces when caught between relational and transactional languages. 🔹 Creates internal conflict between obligations and expectations. 🔹 Restricts a child’s confidence and autonomy. 🔹 Reinforces feelings of powerlessness and self-doubt. In the context of bullying, this cage can trap victims in harmful cycles where they feel unable to speak up or defend themselves. 4. The Bunker: Creating a Safe Space When a child feels trapped in a psychological cage, they need a bunker—a safe space that: 🏠 Provides protection and support without escalating conflict. 🤝 Encourages relational solutions to bullying situations. 🔍 Helps children recognize relational vs. transactional dynamics and respond strategically. Parents will be encouraged to brainstorm "bunker concepts" tailored to their child's situation using the Tentacles of Obligation framework. The Unique Value of Maggie’s Legacy 🔹 Provides a practical, structured approach rather than generic advice. 🔹 Encourages collaboration between parents, schools, and students. 🔹 Transforms bullying incidents into opportunities for growth and connection. 🔹 Uses real-life case studies to inspire solutions. Maggie’s Legacy is not a replacement for professional intervention but serves as a valuable support tool to help parents recognize and address bullying dynamics effectively. Next Steps Join us in the next section, where we will reveal the full Tentacles of Obligation framework—once you see it, you can’t unsee it! 🚀
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Empowering Parents to Understand and Navigate Bullying: A Practical Perspective
04:45
Understanding Bullying Through the Lens of the Tentacles of Obligation Framework
06:09
Delving into Relational and Transactional Languages
04:57
The Relational and Transactional Languages of Purpose vs. Prove
04:10
The Battle of the Tentacles of Obligation & The Psychological Cage
08:04
The Bunker: Escaping the Psychological Cage of Bullying
06:56
The Bunker When a Friend Plays for Themselves
07:12
Exploring Ava Written Rules for AVA
06:17
Maggie’s Legacy Glossary of Terms
Preserver app to gain a free and extremely useful tool to document your experiences.
01:30
Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions
Parents dealing with Bullying
About Lesson

Understanding Bullying Through the Lens of the Tentacles of Obligation Framework

Recap from Our Earlier Module

Bullying is a complex challenge faced by students in schools and communities. Bullying between students occurs when one or more individuals engage in repeated harmful behavior toward another student. It often involves a power imbalance, where the bully exerts dominance or control over their target, and the victim feels powerless to stop it.

Bullying can take many forms:

  • Verbal

  • Physical

  • Social

  • Digital (Cyberbullying)

Its effects can be deeply harmful, impacting mental health, self-esteem, and academic success for everyone involved.

Many individuals who have experienced or witnessed bullying note that there are certain unwritten rules that the person being bullied is expected to comply with. These rules are rarely spoken but are deeply felt, shaping social norms in peer groups. By understanding these hidden dynamics, parents can help students recognize how these unwritten rules influence their actions and empower them to break free from harmful cycles, fostering healthier, more respectful relationships.

Unspoken or Unwritten Rules: The Tentacles of Obligation

To reveal the Tentacles of Obligation, refer to the Maggie’s Legacy Tentacles of Obligation Framework available in the link below this course.

To start, we will engage in a thinking exercise that will lead to a practical activity to help assess the impact your child is facing.

The Sense of Obligation

The sense of obligation is an intuitive feeling that influences how we speak and act in different situations.

Consider this: Have you ever walked into a room and felt uneasy, sensing that something wasn’t quite right? That instinct, or spidey sense, is your subconscious mind alerting your conscious mind to evaluate your surroundings, recognizing both the written and unwritten rules of the environment.

  • Written Rules: Explicit expectations such as policies, procedures, or classroom rules that everyone is aware of and expected to follow.

  • Unwritten Rules: Subtle, unspoken social norms that govern interaction, such as communication styles, showing respect, or adapting to cultural nuances.

This rapid evaluation helps individuals quickly assess the dynamics of an environment and determine the safest or most appropriate response. It combines intuition, observation, and learned skills to adapt behavior accordingly.

For example, the way you communicate with family members likely differs from how you address colleagues or students.

Two Distinct Types of Obligation

  1. Want-To Obligation (Relational Language)

    • Stems from internal motivation or genuine desire to do something.

    • Encourages cooperation and engagement.

  2. Have-To Obligation (Transactional Language)

    • Arises from external pressure or necessity.

    • Often leads to resistance or conflict.

Why the Term “Tentacles of Obligation”?

You may wonder, why tentacles?

Maggie’s Legacy uses this term because, much like an octopus with long tentacles covered in suckers, these obligations pull individuals into interactions. If you are unaware of them, you might unintentionally be drawn into or sucked into a disruptive interaction.

Many parents relate to this push-and-pull dynamic, as they observe their children navigating social pressures and obligations that can feel inescapable.

Practical Example: The Tentacles of Obligation in Action

Teenagers and Video Games

  • Want-To Obligation (Relational Language): Teenagers willingly play console games because they genuinely enjoy them. This interaction follows a natural, cooperative dynamic.

  • Have-To Obligation (Transactional Language): When asked to stop playing and do chores or homework, teenagers often respond with resistance, excuses, and negotiation tactics (some so elaborate they rival a James Bond plot!).

This shift in obligation illustrates the mechanics of transactional interactions, where external pressure leads to oppositional behavior.

Why is This Important?

Recognizing the Tentacles of Obligation reveals the often-overlooked hidden rules that drive interactions and influence behavior. Whether it’s addressing bullying or guiding a teenager at home, understanding these dynamics sheds light on the unseen forces shaping responses and provides an effective framework for meaningful intervention.

Next Module: Unpacking the Tentacles of Obligation

In the next module, we will deconstruct the mechanics of bullying through:

  • Relational Language (Want-To Obligation): Interactions that stem from a genuine willingness to participate.

  • Transactional Language (Have-To Obligation): Interactions driven by pressure, selfishness, and an attempt to control others to avoid consequences.

At the end of the next module, parents will: ✅ Understand the Relational vs. Transactional Language Framework.
✅ Recognize how it formulates the mechanics of bullying.
✅ Identify how these hidden rules shape interactions.

The Tentacles of Obligation are hidden in plain sight, but once you see them, you can’t unsee them!

 

Exercise Files
Maggie’s Legacy DV Tentacles of Obligation.pdf
Size: 323.08 KB
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